I posted this picture today because it describes exactly where I am. The last three years have tested me in everyway imaginable. I became a single mom to a wonderful son and found myself in too many new and challenging experiences to go into in this post. So I just wanted to acknowledge the journey, full of all its pot holes, detour signs as well as the views and wonderful folks I've met along the way.
I know it is far from over as my little one is only coming up on his 3rd birthday but for the first time in longer than I can remember I can see some light piercing through those clouds. And for the first time in just as long I can say I am proud of myself. I have given this new role as provider, nurse, disciplinarian, cook, advocate, protector, Mother everything I've got. And I have surprised even myself b/c I didnt know what this job would require and once I did I didnt know if I had what it took to pull it off.
But today I'm more sure than ever that I have what it takes to care and provide for both of us and even manage to carve out a little time for nurturing my creative spirit. And surprisingly, I have found that when I do that I am actually a better mother. More patient, less uptight, prone to let the little things slide. Even more than that I hope it serves as an example for him to always find time to feed his spirit in whatever way serves him best.
We are now only a few weeks away from making yet another move. We will be staying with my mom for a while in rural NC. The once beloved fast paced of a major metropolitanc city has turned into a rat race and left me a little worse for wear. I look forward to a place where strangers look you in the eye and speak and I'm only a few steps away from fresh cut grass under my bare feet. The sun is indeed starting to shine again and I feel it's warmth beginning to envelope me.
