Journaling

you know what i hate? edges. i hate painting edges. i see other people's art...im always peekin' and snoopin' around other artist's work...anyway i see these beautiful edges that just seem to extend off the page of the canvas. me. i dont even like to paint my edges. im not good with details. they overwhelm me. of course i like what "they" are doing more than what moi is up to. and i need to just do me damn it.

painting forces me push through my fears of rejection and notions of not being good enough. and sometimes i dont push though. i just sit there and stare at the canvas and decide...not tonight...not this week.

and other times...

Say Cheese!

i had a really bomb personal, professional moment almost 2 weeks ago and u know i have to share.

i had been looking for a photag to help me get my pro image going. of course i went to my bestie Craig's List and hit pay dirt with Bessie. she's this amazing and photagrapher/humanitarian/beauty queen AND mom. and she's from the A...so you know we hit it off right away and had a great shoot.
here are a few of my favs...there are many more but im not gonna make you completely gag with my ham-ness...

You know I realize now that i was wanting "others" to take me serious as an artist so i could then take me serious. and that shit had me really fucked up. have you ever felt like you needed to know how something was going to turn out before you moved forward? I think its a kinda common thing...which was good because when i realized it wasn't only me i knew i could do something about it...and this photo shoot was just that.

ive also put my money where my mouth is in a few other things and i'll be sharing somethings from the lab verrrry soon.

She also took some pics of me with my art....

 

And of course here we are at the end of the shoot...

Aren't we lovely? ;-)

I'm so thankful for the experience of moving forward with my dreams...giving 'em feet and wing's. and i know that when i take one step...the Universe takes like 10. and that feels really good.

Oh yeah, i left this out...

since i posted yesterday i couldnt shake the feeling that there were some things i left out. honestly, after writing and re-writing i realized i had stopped editing my words and started editing my voice. i didnt want my mouth to write a check my ass couldnt cash. so i punked out jus a lil bit. and wasnt that the point of what not to do in the first place? so fuck it. so here's what i didn't say in part 1.

1. i understand this blog is not going to be everyone. no blog is. you may think it boring, scatter brained, foul mouthed, just plain too much information or all of the above. if you are one of those people i have to tell you...and i mean this in the best possible way...peace out. i wont miss you and im kinda looking forward to turning some people off.

2. if you think you might want to hang out here with all your dreams and fucked up-ness this is what you are liable to find.

• im a growth and development junkie and i love squawking about my aha moments
  
• im also a glam-hog. if it's shiny and expensive i probably like it. so pics on top of pics of high priced stylish interiors and fashions...that i plan to one day own will surely show up here
  
• you'll get a really-do look at my life as a single mom raising the cutest, smartest and loudest most demanding 3 year old on the planet.
• my creative mumbo jumbo...i'll post new and old, paintings, furniture, poems, essays....im cringing
• id also like to feature creative people i find inspiring...such a looooong list
  
• uhm, uhm i cant thing of anything else. but to cover my bases...anything goes
  

i really want to get up to posting multiple times a week and have these catchy titles for weekly topics.  but we'll see how that goes.


i think that's enough for now if i think of anything else...you know ill let you know.


hugs & holla back