On Givin' Myself a Break

true, its been a whopper of a couple of weeks. and i'm real good, i mean real good at being hard on myself. so when i saw this poem (one of my favs) on a fellow blogger's  site i had to repost. i haven't been feeling very deserving of my own good words to myself. I know that's not me but sometimes, like now i do feel the need to sit in the ashes, mourn and allow me to just be in it for a minute. so these words, i will use as my own today.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~by William Ernest Henley


Still Just Being

Well, um, its been about a week and a half since my last post and i really should be in bed but i was inspired by jenn lemen's blog and decided to take a lip gloss and comb free self pic/video(i tried to upload but took forever...still learning how to use it. but when i figure it out i will post it so you can see me in all my coo-cooness.). i really want to connect more with myself and others more authentically. i have to admit its been almost a week since i "liquified". i don't feel bad. i dont feel the same either and i dont think i want to. im a little wobbly with new legs but im very expectant.

and i have been painting. which is good. this is a piece im working on...or maybe its finished for someone very close to me. i didnt over think it or have a real expectation and i like how it turned out. 

well, its time for bed or im gonna end up watching the real housewives of atl for the umpteenth time. night night.