On Just Being

i guess in life and this blog - i try to be funny and interesting. i want you to come back, to like me, to subscribe to whatever i'm peddling. i think I've always been that way.Well today i dont really have the energy or desire to try. so im a just be.

i feel like a layer of me is being rubbed off. maybe more than one. 
its uncomfortable. 
im raw. 
i cried a good part of my trip to atlanta. i know why and then i dont know why. it was good though. 
long drives on the highway are the only times i have alone with myself these days. 
the tears are still just behind my eyes. 
i feel butterflies. 
i also feel the seams of trying to hold it all in are wearing thin and some things are starting to leak out. 
its very uncomfortable. 
i want to distract myself, to buy something, to move to a new city, to tell a joke, to get a tattoo. 
its very uncomfortable. 
there's a rumbling inside that i can't quite put my finger on. 
but i know the timing is perfect. but for what, i'm not sure. 
it feels like there's a magnet pulling the stuff deep down that i hide and ignore and pretend isn't there, to the surface of my life.
its pulling my card. and showing me the lies i tell myself 
about me not being judgmental or not being scared to death that no one will ever really love ME. 
it has hooked a string around all my feelings of lonliness and isolation, inadequacy and jealousy. 
and like master fisherman it's realing it all up from the murky bottom for all to see. 
i can't hide much longer. and what a relief.
you see my grip is weak and i admit asked for this. 
and it seems the call was heard and the waves are pushing against the sand. 
did i say it was uncomfortable? very?
so i sit back and wait and just be.


  1. I love this... I feel the intense drama of life coming out in a slow but unstopable flow.

  2. I totally connected with what you said in your post. Go with it and all will fall into place. I PROMISE. I have had MANY tears fall upon my cheeks driving in my are on the cusp of something AMAZING!

    On another note, I am also a Scorpio, a Tiger, and my ABSOLUTE FAVE color is Turquoise!!! We are heart sisters my friend. Thanks for visiting my Blog. I will visit again. xo

  3. Hi Jennifer,

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love this post! You have such a way with words! I look forward to reading more from you. :)


  4. You are real and I love that. I definitely feel you on this blog hun! You have a new follower! x

  5. Jennifer, I so heart you. And will say again that I've missed you. Note to self...come here more often ;) We connect on more levels than you know my friend. I see you, and I hear you. xoxo danette