Journaling

i have a lot of energy this morning. and my mind is going a zillion different places. bouncing. rolling. jumping. doing back flips inside my head. im not thinking much about work even though im here. i can't wrestle it in. slippery little thing the mind. it wants to play and i need to work. i have a week off for spring break at the end of april. hopefullyi will be able to get some creative play in then. i usually start thinking about all the things i need to get done and my vacays turn into work days. we'll see

i haven't been painting much in the last couple of weeks. i've been plotting my move and making plans for my t-shirt line. sometimes the ideas get so big they won't fit in my body. i want to be more flexible and allow them to expand me like those balloons at party city. just let them fill me up and i float off into the sky. that sounds really nice. not fighting against my dreams with my fists of reality. organization. time lines. comparisons. expectations. i want to surrender more and think less about how its going to work out. and when its going to work out. i want to see it as already worked out. or at least see that it is working out. i can sometimes. but i realize patience is not my strong suit. i want it all and i want it now. i know. coo coo for co co puffs.

so ill pretend im that balloon. letting life fill me up. and im floating.