Swaddle Someone Today

you know, its funny how things happen isn't it? It's like one thing happens and it reminds you of this other thing that happened and that reminds you of this thing you thought you forgot or didn't even care about that happened so long ago. and the next thing you know you're sitting there at the light blowing your nose with a Wendy's napkin trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Well that's how it always seems to happen to me.

I could go into the details but I don't think they matter much. Well maybe just a little. I was loving someone REALLY hard. And I made the terrible mistake of telling myself it didn't matter if I was being loved back. And while things seemed to be moving along smoothly...well at least that was the b.s. I was slinging, my insides were having a major allergic reaction. I mean major.

So out of pure necessity I realized I had to do a take back or I was going to implode completely. And it was one of the hardest thing I ever had to do. But what was even harder was the realization that that I didn't believe that I deserved to be loved AT ALL.

And with that AHA moment my heart broke wide the eff open. period. that's all I can say. And every piece of pain rolled out like thunder. If you've been reading my blog, you know I was pretty jacked up for a couple of months.

But while I was in such a dark place I knew I had to hold on. I knew that it wasn't happening TO me, it was happening THROUGH me. Labor is all i can compare it to...especially the part with the poop if you know what i mean. Everything funky had to come out for a life to be born. And just like breathing was the most critical part of managing my labor pains, forgiveness became my breath through my this time.

And I tell you forgiveness has and continues to change my life. It is like meeting someone and you two become fast and close friends. You understand each other, you cheer each other on. You look past the flaws and see the shine. I realize as i am writing that forgiveness has allowed me to become that friend to myself. It allows me to genuinely acknowledge my mistakes and turn them in to lessons and blessings.

And more importantly it has changed how I interact with people and treat myself. I can now admit that I served compassion up sparingly. Basically if you were over the age of six...forget about it. You had to be DESERVING of it in my book. Can you imagine ME thinking I was the accurate barometer of who should receive compassion? But I realize now that every time I denied compassion to another I was also denying it to myself.

And with this new found compassion comes a sort of self swaddling that I can't even put into words. It's warm and safe and full of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.And it makes me want to find ways to swaddle more. So try a little swaddling today.Wrap yourself in what ever you need.. Then wrap someone else even tighter. You both deserve it!


xoxoSMOOCHESxoxo

A Little Inspiration...

My best friend form high school posted the poem below on her FB page today. Her oldest daughter is 19 and my one and only God-child. They are going through some real deep valleys right now....things that make my little temporary, ego trippin' problems seem so small. What a reminder for me to practice much more grattitude for what I do have. I am just amazed and still teary eyed that her daughter was able bring a very bright light into an otherwise dark time. I am more spiritual than religious but I still believe in miracles and they need a couple. btw, please keep them in your prayers. love y'all!

Last Week we threw out worrying, it was getting old and in the way. 
It kept us from being us; We couldn't do things God's way. 
We threw out a book on OUR PAST (Didn't have time to read it anyway). 
Replaced it with NEW GOALS, started reading it today. 
We threw out hate and bad memories, (Remember how we treasured them so)? 
Got us a NEW PHILOSOPHY too, threw out the one from long ago. 
Brought in some new books too, called I CAN, I WILL, and I MUST. 
Threw out I might, I think and I ought. WOW, you should've seen the dust. 
We ran across an OLD FRIEND, we hadn't talked to in a while. 
His name is GOD the Father, and we really love His style. 
He has helped us to do some cleaning and added some things Himself.
Like PRAYER, HOPE, FAITH and LOVE, Yes... We placed them right on the shelf. 
I picked up this special thing and placed it at the front door. 
I FOUND IT- it's called PEACE. Nothing gets us down anymore. 
Yes, Me and My Mom got our house looking nice. Looks good around the place. 
For things like Worry and Trouble there just isn't any space. 
It's good to do a little house cleaning, get rid of the things on the shelf. 
It sure makes things brighter; maybe you should TRY IT YOURSELF.