A Word for 2011

I usually pick a word that defines how I want to go into the new year. I don't think too much about it, it just has a natural reoccurance in my life. Well this year everybody's picking a word. Maybe they always did I was just so disconnected from any like minded community, i didn't know about it. But being a rebel and a little bit of a prick from time to time I decided NO WORD FOR ME! I'm going against the grain...even if it's just for grain's sake (i know, i know).

But what I didn't realize was the word had already chosen me.

Then when I did realize it I said to myself, "Self, how can that word possibly last all year long? Once you got it, you got it right?" And then i thought, I don't want to beat a dead horse. And does this word bring up too many bad memories that I have to sift through?

Well, I soon uhm how do you say, humbled myself to the truth. The truth that this word never gets old and is so underused and misunderstood that I could find a million ways to use it, to share it, to meditate on it. So much so that it could become my word for life. I know this because when I think of it my heart swells and the tears well up in my eyes. My mind goes to all the names & faces that I owe this word to. Some I am asking for it and others I'm giving it to.

The word is FORGIVENESS. 

I can barely type it with out becoming a blubbering mess. I mean in my intellectual mind I know life is short and there are too many things to do other than hold on to any grudge or ill memory. But my ego with it's marathon memory and Olympic strength has the will and power to hold on to some really old shit. And with that same will and power it is able to justify all its own wrongs.


And what I have realized is that FORGIVENESS leads to all sorts of beautiful words  that through it's healing power I can more fully embrace. Words like...

APPRECIATION...FUN....LIGHT HEARTEDNESS... LAUGHTER......CREATIVITY...INTIMACY...CONNECTION... 

PEACE.

 So with that being said, I embark on a new soul's journey. One that has already began to crack that now useless hard exterior that used to protect me. One that will surely leave me more vulnerable, more authentic and more receptive to love...and hopefully to more forgiveness.

New Magnet Art

Hey sweet peas! I got my lil schmookie down and managed to upload pics of some new art I'm working on and thought I should take advantage of this rare time with my laptop.

I started working on these a few weeks ago out of sheer necessity. They are quick (I'm result not process oriented) and cheap. And since I'm on a budget I canuse what I've already got (paint, cardboard box, a dull pair of scissors - yay!). I also needed some reminders that could slap me back into the reality and kick my inner critique to the curb. All I had to buy were the magnets to cut and adhere to the back side. So with out further delay (since I'm about to start stalling)...

whoever they are....

sometimes I wonder...

good question. sometimes I know the answer...

They're all roughly about the size of my BlackBerry. No two are the exact same size though. I like the imperfectness of them. I really need visual reminders and lately the sweet  fuzzy affirmations haven't been working for me. If you don't know by now I shoot from the hip and these little sassy fridge magnets are doin' it for me right now. 

Since the pics are uploaded I should be posting them on my Etsy page tomorrow (I'm going to veg out on HGTV when I finish this post). And speaking of Etsy, I'm thinking of starting a new shop specifically for these little bugars ( I have more and lots of ideas for more - some for mature eyes only...oooooh). From a business standpoint, I don't want to mix apples and...walnuts. But we'll see. It would mean coming up with a new shop name and the whole marketing shabbadoowhop and I don't have the time for my current shabbadoos.

Anyway I just wanted to put them out there with my test group. Not too much else brewing besides still looking for a job....which is a whole other bag of wollybodydingdong (sorry, I had to get that out). But I'll keep y'all posted. Smooches and night-night!!

Mama's Got a New Pep in Her Step

"Fall in Love with Your Life"

Hey gang! Well, I started (all be it 2 weeks late) the much...and i do mean much...anticipated Kelly Rae Robert's Flying Lessons e-course. And let me tell you it has set a well needed fire under my hind parts. She is a wealth of information and inspiration and to be in the presence of other artists who are on the same path as I am is so worthwhile. BUT I must say the single MOST BESTEST thing Kelly could have ever done for me at least was to post a video that in two and a half minutes gave me the validation I needed to do something else Kelly talks about...commit.

I have always been the big dreamer and risk taker in my circle of friends and family. Whether a cliff or a curb I was usually there for the jumping. But since having my son almost 3 years ago there has been this ongoing inner and outer struggle between being a "good/responsible" mom and super big dreaming artist.

"Your're a mom now no time for dreams of your own." and "How selfish of you to even consider it - grow up." were constant sentiments ringing in my head. While my inner child cried out to be recognized, acknowledged and nurtued in my daily life. Neeless to say this struggle was beginning to lead me into a very lonely and closeted creative life.

But baby, Mama's gotta a new song (see below) to sing now. I can do both. I must do both and even better yet there are many more ass-kickin', car pooling, dish washing, creative Goddess moms out there with the same issues as lil ol' me. And even though I don't know them I feel their strength and I wanna give a little back to them as well.

That brings me to another part Flying Lessons talks about...community and how vital it is for the artist to thrive. I'M NOT ALONE! And I'm not a bad mom because I want to send my son away for a few days so I can go half way across the country to meet, greet and get messy with art. I now know this is God's work in me. And its my responsibilty to show my son the courage it takes and joy it brings to live life on my own terms. So I want to send a big shout out to my mentor and mommy 2B Kelly Rae...Thank you for giving me back to myself. SMOOCHES!!


Ooh gotta love Miss D in all her white (even though the coat is just a tad frightening?!)

Whew! Getting the hang of it

I really love how his orange shirt goes with the slide. Its a great scheme for a scrapbook page. hmmmm... (as she stroked her chin slyly)

Im baaaack! I really love the access at work. I brought my camera to work and downloaded my pics so I can have full access. Yeah! I'll tell you a secret I learned a long time ago. If you're a creative and you have to work a 9 to 5 make the most of it. A PC, color printer, scanner, internet access and long distance can really be your best friend and enable you to kill a few birds with one stone. But shhh you didn' hear it from me.

Well I just wanted to share some pics I've taken over the last few weeks. Photography is another creative passion of mine, and my main subject my little schmookie. I would post some art I just finished but its on my laptop @ home. Dang it to all! Not to worry, I'll put those up tonight. Until then...