Glittery Nail Alert

if you dont know...i loooove nail polish. i did a stint as a nail tech in the early 90's and being a lover of color and expression...nail polish is a great and inexpensive way to show off your personality. so in honor of me getting my creative mojo going i decided to find something inspired my katy perry fame.

and boy did i find it.

orly.com

 this is one of the colors from orly cosmic FX line for the spring. and this is what temptalia had to say about It’s Not Rocket Science

"Intergalactic, Planetary"

"it's an olive green base with darkened chartreuse and teal shimmer. It looks rather chartreuse-y at some angles, while in others, it almost looks emerald green as the teal comes into play."~temptalia

 then i added this silver sparkly stuff and...

 BADOW!! i know my iphone doesnt do it justice but trust me its like a 3-dimentional rabbit hole. you already had the green, turquoise thing goin on and then with the silver on top of it...it was like looking at a vegas night sky. i love it sooo much. i say WAS because you know it only lasted a few day. i wash my hands a gazillion times a day. but i will say this, because of the glitter its really easy to paint over the chips and you can't tell AT ALL!

well that's all for now.

hugs & holla back! xoxo

Oh yeah, i left this out...

since i posted yesterday i couldnt shake the feeling that there were some things i left out. honestly, after writing and re-writing i realized i had stopped editing my words and started editing my voice. i didnt want my mouth to write a check my ass couldnt cash. so i punked out jus a lil bit. and wasnt that the point of what not to do in the first place? so fuck it. so here's what i didn't say in part 1.

1. i understand this blog is not going to be everyone. no blog is. you may think it boring, scatter brained, foul mouthed, just plain too much information or all of the above. if you are one of those people i have to tell you...and i mean this in the best possible way...peace out. i wont miss you and im kinda looking forward to turning some people off.

2. if you think you might want to hang out here with all your dreams and fucked up-ness this is what you are liable to find.

• im a growth and development junkie and i love squawking about my aha moments
  
• im also a glam-hog. if it's shiny and expensive i probably like it. so pics on top of pics of high priced stylish interiors and fashions...that i plan to one day own will surely show up here
  
• you'll get a really-do look at my life as a single mom raising the cutest, smartest and loudest most demanding 3 year old on the planet.
• my creative mumbo jumbo...i'll post new and old, paintings, furniture, poems, essays....im cringing
• id also like to feature creative people i find inspiring...such a looooong list
  
• uhm, uhm i cant thing of anything else. but to cover my bases...anything goes
  

i really want to get up to posting multiple times a week and have these catchy titles for weekly topics.  but we'll see how that goes.


i think that's enough for now if i think of anything else...you know ill let you know.


hugs & holla back

The Reclamation of ME

i love hip-hop music. and if you pull up next to me at a red light you are liable to see me in my mom van bobbin my head to lil wayne and daydreaming about me, him and my 2-piece on south beach. (yes, i know he’s only a little taller than my son and has stones for teeth…just let me have this one). On the other hand you can also catch me in deep reflection while listening to the wise words of wayne dyer. and yes we’re in maui and ive traded the 2-piece for a citrus colored sarong. what can i say…im in love with two waynes.

 

if you are still reading this, maybe you are getting the point of this post. maybe not. but if you're still reading that's good enough for me.

since i picked back up the paint brush and the pen almost a year ago, i have found myself struggling to find my own authentic voice. i hear it in my head and even see it in my mind’s eye but when i go to create it, it becomes illusive like smoke and at same time stiff, like hard cement.

don’t get me wrong. i know why this is. over the years i have brainwashed myself into believing that because my delivery of the message was different from what I see in the main stream that there is no place for me. and that basically I had to become creatively anorexic so no one will be offended or God forbid, un-friend me on facebook or stop following my blog. 

through a powerful coaching process im enrolled in i now realize this is so much bigger than some paint flung on a canvas. this is about all the ways i have choked the life out of my dreams and watered down my passions because i couldn’t understand how all my opposites could survive, let alone thrive in this one body. many times  I have set the fire of my desire only to go back and create a perimeter of water around it so it didn’t get out of control.

because what would happen if my dreams and passions burned like wildfire? lord help us if they took over and I became a slave to my soul’s deepest longings.

this blog has become such a wonderful mirror for my spirit. i see how i've been on the side lines of my own life and wondering why no one will throw me the ball. as far as here i have let some personal things about me out of the bag. but i have also struggled with how much to share, how to share it and if anyone would really give a damn.

M2BM started out an artistic outlet. but it has reignited my love of writing and reminded me that i am a natural communicator and storyteller. it has also reminded me of the lighter, more playful side of my life that i thought i had to trade in for the responsible single-mom card. i want to inspire and connect with people. i just have to do it my way. and @ 36 years old I realize im not gonna change. and why should i?

i'm now ready to get on with accepting my smart, sexy, ambitious, sensitive, creative, spiritual self. and that also includes accepting my potty mouthed, know-it-all, insecure, nerdy, stuck-up, shallow self as well. and i got a inklin' that this is exactly how im gonna find my REAL place in this world. and that alone makes all the bull shit ive put myself through sooo worth it. 

so this blog and i may go through a few tweeks until we find our groove. but our groove we will find. i am sure of that. and until next time, thanks for lettin me bend your ear.

XOXO 

Introducing....My Dreams

y'all know i was hesitant to put a picture of my vision board up. if you've ever wanted more than what you currently have you know why. these dreams are like my babies. except they're not babies anymore. ive nursed, nurtured and cuddled as much as any over bearing...hyper-critical...super opinionated...yet well meaning mother can. 

it's their turn to take center stage. to stretch their legs and wings...to run and to fly. they don't belong to me anymore. they are apart of the gifts i was given so i can gift them back. the board and lists below are not conclusive. i am sure i am still holding on to the youngest most tender ones. but their time will come too...and soon. but for now let me introduce you to my Dreams.

i have ALWAYS wanted to travel the world

these rooms are me to a t...and remind me of why i love interior design...sooo much

the cutest room for the cutest little boy...this is by far the most important picture on my board!

this is a pic of an artis studio....that id give my pinky toe for.

a quote by Tory Burch that is so me.

love the quote and that beautiful Michele watch.

"O" took spirituality mainstream but Debbie, Byron and Iyanla are some of the major pioneers.

i love the way he's kissing her forehead....

in the short term i intend to...

get back into interior design

go on an artistic and/or spiritual retreat

guest blog on a popular creative/ growth and development website

have 500 blog followers

move V and me to Charlotte and in our on space

have my art sold in two retail spots

create and maintain a healthy eating and exercise routine

appear as Fly Girl of the Week

perform on stage

be a part of local art exhibit

become certified in an energy/healing/coaching modality

attend a creative writing workshop

take a vacation in a tropical local

now that i'm warmed up here are some of my even bigger...scared to whisper dreams

be a contributing writer and artist for a national magazine

become 100% self-employed as an artist/writer/speaker

create a one-woman stage show

try my hand at stand-up comedy

meet the man of my dreams and build a new family

work with one or more of the leading spiritual leaders (anyone from Hay House!)

create a successful line of home decor and accessories

spend at least 3-4 months out of the year living abroad

have a stylish luxury wardrobe

with love,

M2BM

Growing Like a Weed

When my son was younger (yep hes a whole 3 yrs old now) i took an obscene amount of pictures of him. It was rediculous. but i had never seen anyone i loved so much or who was so dam gorgeous or who changed with almost every breath. well,  ive gotten lazy in the last 6 months & we've gotten into our pattern and daily habits. and these days his vocabulary is growing faster than his body.

the other day he said he was "Umongous".

but the other day we were outside on one of those singular sunny warm days in between slush and rain and just plain cold...and he ran over into the field next to our house (yes i live in the country...the real country) and i had to put down my mags, whip out my iphone to capture him and all his divine toddler manliness.

The other thing that's special about these pics are that he is playing in the same yard and field i played in as a child. there were lots of rough spots in my childhood but this yard is the place of many of my happiest childhood memories. it's where i learned to ride a bike, a go-cart AND a riding lawnmower. it's where we, since we didnt have any neighbors near by, could run till we got tired. now it's where he can run until he gets tired.

i just love how his outfit happens to match the landscape.

and the blue sky...that blue sky was like forever.

Magazine Dreams...The Spring Issue

okay, so i love magazines. i mean i really love them. before i bought diapers, i bought magazines. and lots of them. as a child my mother shopped thrift stores almost exclusively. so when she was rifling through racks and piles of second hand treasures i was over in my own world ravaging through stacks and stacks of out-of-date Teen and National Geographic magazines.

that girl to the right is our own Ms. Whitney Houston!

still one of my favorite covers...iconic.

 Yeah, that's one hell of a spectrum. But they were both my eyes to this very overly protected, pentacostal, country girl's world. i realize they were how i learned to dream.

well, not much has changed. accept for the fact that a special little someone is out of diapers and i now have a few extra coins to myself. so this weekend i splurged and bought TWO whole magazines. and all i did for the majority of the weekend was devour them...one scintillating page after another.

so this post is ode to a little girl learning to dream again. and what better way than with my home girl Oprah and the fashion obsessed Lucky. and i was also pleasantly surprised to find some really inspiring things in Martha Stewart's Real Simple Weddings. And the crazy thing is i NEVER look at wedding mags but the line at walmart so dang long and my son was flirting with the lady behind us. so i was just browsing. and boy did i see some some of the most colorful and juicy things in there. who would a thunk it? it also got me thinking about some of those OTHER dreams...if you get my drift. but later for that. enjoy the visuals and have a great week. ((hugs))

Lucky Mag

all are from O except shoes they're Lucky...if i just had someone to carry me around when i wore them.

O Mag

Real Simple Weddings

Lucky Mag

Sharpening the Saw

sooo its an accomplishment in and of itself that i found time to post twice in one week. i think its been twice. its been twice in the last seven days. that's good enough for me. i also stole away an hour or so for myself today. im hiding out at the barnes & nobles until i go pick up my son from daycare. so ive gtot about 20 minutes to chit chat and post...so if this post is short and pretty pointless...bare with me. i have no idea what im whats gonna come this..i know you understand.

ive got a lot going on lately and all the balls in the air are making me a little pissy. So i ran through my mind trying to figure what the dealy was and i was surprised with what i came up with. 

its me. simple huh. i have changed. im changing. im dreaming again. im stretching again. im asking again. and like the blade being sharpened on the stone it is really rubbing my nerves.

circa 2008

i recently used this same analogy with one of my adult students before i had my lil aha moment. he was frustrated at not knowing some pretty basic grammar principles. i told him he was stretching and learning something that his mind is trying to reject because it has known something else for sooo long. i told him to breathe and be patient. that it would click soon enough and he'd test out of my class and be one step closer to his high school diploma.

i realize my students (and everyone close to me) are some real teachers for me sometimes (all the frickin time). i want to be a better painter now. i want to be a full time artist now. i want to feel like im on my true spiritual path now. i want to have income that allows me to finally move my son and me out into our own space NOWWWW. and don't let me get started on my personal life.

c. 2008

and in all this wanting and recognizing what i don't have i started discounting what i have accomplished...as an artist, as a mom, as a spiritual seeker.

so i want to take a minute to acknowledge all that i...and you are doing. i know what i want sometimes seems so far from where i am. but i have to realize that my (our) blade is getting sharper with every action i (we) take toward my dreams. so my advice to myself today  (and some of y'all too)

1. breath
2. chill out 
3. stop taking everything so effin serious
4. find some time for yourself (even if you have to hide in a closet)

and then hopefully we'll find things are really going better than we know.

<3